


Struggles of the Mind

by MutantRiot



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Broken Charles, Broken Erik, Childhood Memories, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 09:01:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12251223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MutantRiot/pseuds/MutantRiot
Summary: Charles and Erik had vastly different childhoods, but their pain is the same -- consuming and debilitating. Haunted by memories burned into their minds, they must confront their demons together.





	Struggles of the Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick trigger warning for child abuse, use of slurs, and general trauma. Please read at your own discretion.

No, no, no! Please stop, just stop! You’re hurting me! OW! Mama!

Charles awoke with a start to the empty room. Erik had gone on his early morning run as usual, and the flat was dark. Curling up into a ball, he felt the tears began to roll down his cheeks. His stepfather’s words rang in his ears, his mind flashing back to each moment. 

“You’re a worthless freak! Get up! I said get up!” – Kurt had kicked him to the ground, refusing to let Charles stand and mocking him when he couldn’t breathe when the heel of his boot pressed into the boy’s sternum.   
“Disgusting faggot. God sure fucked up making your kind.” – Charles had come out to his mother about being gay, and she’d told Kurt to take care of it. He hoped that she didn’t mean for Kurt to beat him up then throw him out of the house for a week.  
“Get out of my head, you monster!” – When Charles was smaller, he didn’t know how to control his powers, and he found himself inside Kurt’s mind, seeing him cheating on his mother. 

“Shut up, shut up!” Charles cried, burying his face into the pillow, trying valiantly to get the memories to fade. But his stepfather’s voice was flooding his ears. Freak, fag, mistake, worthless, disgusting, waste of space...  
Charles dug his nails into his arms, sobbing, gritting his teeth against the pain. Maybe it would bring him back to Earth. Sure enough, as soon as his skin was broken, and he began to bleed, the shouting in his mind faded, and he was once again alone in bed. The bleak dawn light filtered into the room through the broken blinds by the window and created an odd aura around the panes. His mind reached out for Erik, hoping he was close by.   
Erik, please come home. Then the bedroom door opened and in walked Charles’ husband – just in time.  
“Schatz, what’s going on?” Erik asked, quickly taking Charles into his arms in bed.  
“Flashbacks...” He coughed, settling into Erik’s arms. “Everything comes back, and it hurts.”   
“I’m here, breathe. Oh Charles, you’re bleeding!” Erik held up Charles’ arm to show him the bloody tracks. “I’m so sorry I didn’t stay in this morning.”  
“It’s not your fault, love. I’m just so glad you’re here now.”  
“I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

*****

“Mama, hilf mir! Ich brauche dich, bitte!” Erik cried out in his sleep, rousing Charles who immediately wrapped his arms and mind around the other man, kissing his head and gently waking him.   
“Erik, darling! Come back to me, you’re safe,” Charles whispered gently as Erik dissolved into a mess of tears in his arms. Erik – who was always kept up a stony, strong exterior– was incredibly prone to night terrors, so much that Charles had come to expect them almost every night.   
“I want my mama back,” He sobbed, burying his head into Charles’ sweater. “I never got to say goodbye. She was taken away!” The metal bed posts groaned and wavered as Erik began to lost control of his powers, sinking further into the agony of the scenes that had replayed in his head.   
“Oh darling, I know, I know.” Charles held Erik tightly to his chest, trying to help the searing pain that radiated from Erik’s mind fade away. But it glowed white with heat and rage and fear. “I’m here, you’re not alone” – the mantra Charles lovingly said to Erik every night during these attacks. “Your mama loves you so much, darling, she is up in Heaven, looking down on us right now and saying how much she loves you.”   
“L-liebling...” Erik stuttered, laying his head on Charles’ shoulder. “They’ve all left me... They’ve all been taken from me. I don’t want to feel anymore... I don’t want to be here anymore...”   
“My love,” Charles sighed, pulling Erik closer to him. “You can’t give up. Please, we all need you so much. You wouldn’t let me give up, right? You took me to the hospital and made sure I was safe when I wanted to hurt myself, right?”  
“Mhm.”   
“I’m never going to give up on you or let you give up on yourself, Erik Lehnsherr. You’re my husband, and I made a vow to you that I’d never leave you. And I swear on everyone I hold dear, I will never let you go.”  
“I love you,” Erik said, laying down and nuzzling Charles’ hip. “Please never leave.”   
“I promise you, darling,” Charles replied, scooting back under the covers and closer to Erik. “I’m not going anywhere.”


End file.
